Medley
by raspberryseedz
Summary: Ten short, unrelated Megamind/Roxanne pieces based loosely on various songs. Some are sweet, some are sad, some are funny, a little bit of everything here.


This was something I did whilst stuck in an airport with nothing but a notebook and my iPod. In case you've never seen one of these, the idea behind the iPod challenge is that you take the first 10 songs that come up on shuffle and write a short piece based on a character/pairing/fandom/whatever.

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**Medley**

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**1. Sweet Dreams are Made of This by Eurythmics**

_Some of them want to use you_

_Some of them want to get used by you_

"What do you want with me?"

The very first time he had kidnapped her she had asked him that. Her brows hardened into a glare, barely a hint of a quiver in her voice, even then he couldn't manage to intimidate her.

"Metrocity's favorite bag of muscle seems to have taken a shine to you, Miss Ritchi," he replied. It could've been true, but it didn't really answer the question.

For a while afterward she always began conversations that way, steadily growing less and less intense until she sounded like one of those bored fast food cashiers Minion was always complaining about. "What do you want, Megamind? Cheeseburger? Fries? Can we get this over with, I've got a nail appointment at four."

He'd launch into a monologue on the brilliance of his latest scheme, the futility of her screams, just in case she ever decided to scream, the usual banter, but he never really answered the question. It wasn't long until she dropped it entirely.

Now she comes up behind him and snakes her arms around his shoulders. "It's getting pretty late," she says with a soft hum, "What do you want to do?"

He puts down the blueprints he'd been working on and answers the question.

**2. The Argument by Francis J. Nesta**

_Soon the conversation has become a confrontation_

_That requires an explanation due to misinterpretation_  
><em>Then a growing irritation causes hyperventilation<em>  
><em>And you speculate and contemplate a swift assassination<em>

"You are being completely unreasonable!"

"_I'm_ unreasonable?"

"Yes, unreasonable! And pahro-sheeal!"

"It's pronounced _parochial_!"

"I don't _care!_ It's my lair and I'll pronounce it however I feel like pronouncing it!"

"Oh, well look who's being narrow-minded _now?_"

"Ha! If I am narrow-minded, Roxanne Ritchi, you are walking a tightrope of banal intellect…"

"Oh no…. no, no, no. I _refuse_ to argue with you in metaphor. Stop avoiding the issue!"

"I'm not avoiding anything, you refuse to listen…"

"…can't pay attention to anything outside your huge…"

"…nothing but a sarcastic, contemptuous…"

"…egotistical, childish…"

"…seductive scorpion-woman!"

"…loud, tempermen… Wait a sec, what did you say?"

"I, um… uh,"

"Ugh, this is so pathetic. We shouldn't even be arguing about this."

"You… you're right, this is beneath us."

"We should be doing something productive, not calling each other stupid names that we don't really mean."

"…I'm… sorry I called you a scorpion-woman."

"And I'm sorry I called you an arrogant man-child."

"I'm, wait… _Man-child!_I'll have you know…"

**3. Psycho Theme by Bernard Herrmann**

"Feast your eyes on this!" A whirring wheel of old shoes tipped with metal spikes drops down in front of her.

"What'd you do? Raid Marilyn Manson's collection of hiking boots?"

He ignores her and smashes another button. "Not so smug now, are we?"

"Wha…why does it have a face?" She cocks an eyebrow at the red painted shark bomb grinning at her and tries not to laugh.

He grits his teeth and flushes purple. "Alright, Miss Ritchi, you leave me no choice!" His hand hovers dramatically over a lever towards the center of the console. He lets her sit in unmitigated silence for a moment before throwing the switch with a deep laugh.

The floor under her shakes a little as the floor splits, leaving her chair sitting on a small circular platform suspended over a large pool. She stares down, baffled.

"Are those… turtles?"

Megamind's jaw goes slack. "Are they what now?" He half slides up to the edge of the pool in a scramble to look at the half dozen shells calmly maneuvering through the water.

"_Minion!_"

The fish's tank pokes up from behind his hiding place behind a large monitor. "I tried to tell you earlier, Sir. Apparently there's a type of turtle called an alligator snapping turtle and it seems the pet store thought we were ordering…"

"Oh, for the love of Telsa!" Megamind brings a frustrated palm up to his great forehead in a loud smacking noise.

Roxanne rolls her eyes. "Oh, calm down. At least their shells are kinda spiky."

**4. The Phantom of the Opera by Nightwish**

_And though you turn from me_  
><em>To glance behind<em>  
><em>The Phantom of the Opera is there<em>  
><em>Inside your mind<em>

He had always sort of liked gothic horror novels. Minion thought they were gratuitous and farfetched and Megamind did get a little annoyed at stories that relied too much on the supernatural, but in general they usually had enough atmosphere and suspense to hold his interest.

It was obvious how their influence crept into his work. The collar piece of his cape was right out of Bela Lugosi's Dracula, he tried to lower his voice by practicing Mephistopheles' laugh, and he started on the disguise generator after reading Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When he was young he liked to think he would've made a good gothic horror villain. In a twisted way, he almost was.

The Phantom of the Opera had been redeemed with a kiss.

He had been unmasked with one.

**5. I Move On from Chicago**

_So there's no doubt we're well cut out _  
><em>To run life's marathon<em>  
><em>We just move on<em>

"Seriously, Megamind, you must've tried fifty of these schemes already. Don't you ever get sick of losing all the time?"

"Minor setbacks are not losses, Miss Ritchi. I have not failed fifty times, I have merely discovered fifty ways to _not_ defeat Metro Man."

"Uh huh. And what happens when you run out of ways to _fail_ at defeating Metro Man?"

"Evil is a wealth of creativity. I have enough fiendishly clever plots up my sleeve to keep your boyfriend and his ridiculous fringed gloves occupied for years."

"I think you need to get a life."

"Nobody asked for your opinion."

"Couldn't you just pick up a hobby or something? One that doesn't involve explosives or destructive robots or chloroform…"

"Chloroform?"

"Isn't that what you put in that knock-out spray."

"Oh no, it's too toxic, especially when used frequently… I-I mean, um, not that that _concerns_ me. It's just not my style, it's outdated and unoriginal."

"You could try kidnapping someone _else_ for a change. That'd be pretty original."

"Nice try, Miss Ritchi."

**6. Fairytale by Sarah Bareilles**

_But the story needs some mending_  
><em>And a better happy ending<em>  
><em>'Cause I don't want the next best thing<em>

There were quite a few men Roxanne could've been with if she had let it happen.

There was her quiet high school admirer who snuck roses into her locker, and she chose a man who built her a dehydration gun for her birthday.

She could've stayed with her college boyfriend as he climbed the corporate ladder into a CEO of a publishing firm, but she chose an ex-criminal who needed her help in doing his taxes.

She could've taken her editor's offer to go traveling, but she chose a man who had never set foot outside the city.

She could've had a perfect-haired Adonis, but she chose the skinny, bald, blue alien.

At the end of the day, she was glad she didn't settle.

**7. Feeling Good by Nina Simone**

_Stars when you shine, you know how I feel  
>Scent of the pine, you know how I feel<br>Freedom is mine, and I know how I feel  
>It's a new dawn<br>It's a new day  
>It's a new life for me<em>

She finds him standing outside the lair gesturing wildly at a cluster of brainbots attempting to lift what appeared to be a small catwalk. He's dressed in a baggy white jumpsuit that doesn't fit him very well at all and there's a plastic squeegee tucked into his belt.

"What on earth are you up to?"

He drops his arms and his eyes light up. "Roxanne! Did you know that we had _windows_ here this whole time?"

Her eyes scan the huge glass panels breaking up the building's exterior. "Yes, I believe those are typically referred to as windows…"

"Well, they're not _actually_ windows until you can effectively see out of them," he explains, missing her facetious tone entirely. "It defeats the whole purpose if they're covered in opaque filth."

"So… you're gonna clean _all_ these windows."

"The brainbots and I, yes. Minion doesn't like standing on surfaces not directly affixed to the ground so I'm having him hook up the hose to the old typhoon generator. That should make things go faster."

"You're gonna turn down the water pressure, though. Right?"

He had the decency to look mildly offended at her comment. "Of course."

"Just checking." She rests a hand on his shoulder to let him know she was joking. Well, half joking. "What brought all this on anyway?"

The smile he gives her is tight and just a little bit crooked. "I'm not entirely sure," one hand tugs softly at her waist until the space between them is closed, her hip knocking the squeegee out of the way. "But it feels fantastic!"

**8. The Green, Green Dress from Tick, Tick… Boom!**

_Can I tie you up, love?_  
><em>If you tell me yes<em>  
><em>I'll unbutton every button down your green, green dress<em>

Roxanne studies herself in the mirror and wonders why she never really wore green. She usually preferred warmer colors, but the dark, velvety green actually looked pretty good on her, didn't wash her skin out and it complemented nicely with the red of her lipstick.

She pulls it off and changes into the slacks and purple jacket she had worn to go shopping. She should probably keep looking. The single shoulder strap made it look a little like it came out of the 1980s and the long row of tiny black buttons running down the back would drive Megamind insane…

With a small, wicked smile, she replaces the dress on its hangar and makes her way over to the register.

**9. Come Look at the Freaks from Side Show  
><strong>

_Come look at the freaks  
>Come gape at the geeks<br>Come examine these aberrations  
>Their malformations<em>  
><em>Grotesque physiques<em>

The Warden says that they're coming to find a more appropriate home for him. He knows better, he knows they've come to stare at the strange child that fell out of the sky like a meteorite. Sometimes they came in groups, sometimes it was a couple, sometimes a man in a dark suit or a woman in a stiff skirt, sometimes they brought cameras or thick notebooks or tape recorders.

His uncles hated it whenever somebody came, almost more than he did. They tried not to talk about it much in front of him and he didn't want to bring it up for fear he'd upset them, but he still heard them talking every now and again.

"They're turning the poor kid into a tabloid."

"They're just curious, Bill. It's better that people get used to him, he'll have to get out into the world eventually."

"How is this a good way to get people used to him? Displaying the kid and his fish to the press like they're in some freak show."

He snaps his B.I.N.K.E.Y into his prototype demoralizer ray. If they wanted a show, they'd get a show.

**10. Sweet Caroline by Neal Diamond**

_Hands, touching hands, reaching out_  
><em>Touching me, touching you<em>  
><em>Oh, sweet Caroline<em>  
><em> Good times never seem so good<em>  
><em>I've been inclined to believe it never would<em>

He never had a chance to learn this about her before, and not just because her hands were usually bound behind her back, but Roxanne was something of a touchy-feely person. When she thought that he looked sad, she would touch his shoulder or grab his arm. When she was startled, her natural instinct was to hit. When she wanted to show him something, she'd take him by the hand and pull him there. When he made her laugh, her hand would come down and playfully slap his knee.

Usually he embraced this type of behavior, but now it was getting a little bit ridiculous.

"You've got nice nails."

"I do?"

"Yeah," she turns his palm over and inspects the blunt tip of his thumb. "Nice, healthy cuticles. Do you use some kind of lotion or something?"

"Uhh…" _What is she talking about?_

"You don't have to be embarrassed if you do. Nothing wrong with a guy taking care of his hands." She waves a set of pink nails under his nose and he has the vague impression she's teasing him. She entwines her long, slender fingers into his thick, square ones and for an indulgent moment he wonders what she'd think if she ever saw his regular blue hands, if they would fit together as nicely.

Her hand slides down to his wrist. "How much time do we have till…"

He tears away from her. "Would you look at that, we are running late, so very late. Indecently late. Let's go!"

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A/N: The only song on here that would be difficult to find online is The Argument. I cannot find a decent recording of it anywhere and the one I've got is of my high school choir (yes, I have my old choir songs on my iPod, I am aware that I am a major dork.) Youtube search "FHS The Argument" if you want to hear it, it's a pretty funny song when done right.


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